it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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