nut hugger
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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