2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think my fart just growled at me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
