I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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