accomplished twins. life is a go
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
