If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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