so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
