i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
