Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize