omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
