just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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