we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
