Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
