Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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