genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
