The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I believe in your delicious
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
