he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
