Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Alive.
So much puke
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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