yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
