The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
