You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
