somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
