She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
