I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
