i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
