She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm bleeding and have questions
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
