She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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