If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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