i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
