The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
