Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
