whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
