I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
