my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am naked and annoyed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
