don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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