you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
