Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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