How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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