Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
