You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize