Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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