went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
