OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
