Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i love accidental penises.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
