just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
