everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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