When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
