She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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