my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
