Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
A+ Viking dick
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
