i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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