They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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