Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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