she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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