last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
