Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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