so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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