Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize