I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
